


A Certain Slant of Light

by NiniAtTheYAC



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Grief, Healing, Hopeful Ending, Loss, Mourning, a girl can dream, post 3x05, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 05:03:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21221024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiniAtTheYAC/pseuds/NiniAtTheYAC
Summary: If Anne and Gilbert had walked home after the dance.This was supposed to be a kind of sweet, romantic, 'what if Gilbert had walked Anne home after their dance?', and it is that but, but it ended up more sweet than romantic, and more meaningful than light-hearted. But I still found it pretty cute so I thought I'd share.The title is from an Emily Dickinson poem. Comments and constructive feedback are welcome!





	A Certain Slant of Light

_Don’t_ think about him. Don’t _think_ about him. Don’t think about _him_.______

_ _ __ _ _

That was all that Anne could think during her hasty escape from the schoolhouse. It was her only defense against her racing heart and scattered mind.  
“Ehem” A throat cleared behind her and she turned around so fast that she felt her braid hit the side of her face. And of course, it was him.  


“Gilbert,” Anne tried not to sound as breathless as she truly was. As breathless as he made her.  


“Anne,” he replied, not moving any closer but with his eyes boring into her. “I was wondering if I could walk with you?” Anne could only stare and gape for a moment before she regained her wits.  


“Wait do you mean ‘_walk_ with me’ walk with me?”__  


“I can mean whatever you’d prefer I just know the walk will be far more enjoyable with you than on my own.” Anne’s heart was in her throat, she still didn’t know if this was a proper walking home together or just friends who happen to be going in the same direction, but she did know that he was right. The walk would be nicer to take together.  


“Okay,” she finally replied meekly and tried not to think of poor Ruby. The silly thing was that this was all really Ruby’s fault anyway. Anne had long ago decided herself to be the bride of adventure after she believed that no one, and especially not Gilbert Blythe, could ever be persuaded to fall in love with her. But ever since Ruby had mentioned the ‘romance in his eyes’ when they spoke Anne had been trying to see if she could find it there too. For months now there was nothing. He was cross with her and then there was tragedy and every time she looked deeply at his eyes all she saw was sorrow. But today was different. When they danced she had paid too much attention to him, she had to see how he looked at the other girls, Jane and Diana, so that she might see if there was a difference in the way he looked at her. The results were admittedly astonishing. When he looked away from her, he was just Gilbert, kind and chivalrous, but when he looked at her he was Gilbert with all of his natural and perpetual qualities, plus something else. Weirdly enough when he looked at her she felt the same. As if she was still her self, still Anne as she’d always been, but an Anne plus something more. And that was how she felt walking beside him now too.  


“So,” Gilbert said with some hesitation after they had been walking a moment. “Did you enjoy dancing today?” She wanted to tell him the truth, yes, of course, she enjoyed dancing, she had always dreamed of dancing but she never imagined she’d have the chance to do it properly! But she felt unsure of sharing that much of the truth.  


She settled on a partial admission, “It was fun, but not what I had expected.”  


“Really? May I ask what your expectations were?”  


“Well most of the dancing that I know of is from novels where the women wear beautiful long dresses and the men look dashing in suits. There are string quartets and huge candlelit chandeliers hanging from the ceiling over rich, golden, ballrooms!” She turned her gaze to the sky as she spoke and was getting worked up with her excitement until she remembered herself and with whom she was speaking. “Sorry, you must find me a very silly girl to imagine such things.”  


“Not at all,” Gilbert smiled and nudged her shoulder with his. “I think the schoolhouse would be much improved by opulent marble floors, candlelight, and crystal chandeliers”  


Anne smiled to herself and felt his gaze on her. “And I mean no offense to Moody, but I really do think an orchestra would make a much finer accompaniment,” Anne said with a small laugh.  


Gilbert laughed and continued to play along “Now all we need is someone to find us some fine clothes.” Anne grinned and grew shy for a moment before she spat out what had to be said.  


“Truly, Gilbert,” she stopped walking to look at him properly for a moment. “You are a wonderful dancer.” He seemed genuinely pleased to hear her praise, “but you did make an utter mess of the arrangement of the sets by dragging me over to you.”  


His face fell for a moment until he saw the twinkle in her eye. “Well, my deepest apologies Miss. Shirley-Cuthbert. Could I prove myself to you by asking for your hand in a dance at the county fair next week?” Anne was shocked for a moment, but recovered to say, “ I believe that is the only way I’ll ever be able to find faith in your dancing abilities again.”  


They both smiled at one another and then continued the journey in silence for a time. Anne couldn’t deny that she was desperate for an excuse to touch him again. Her hands still felt like they were sparking from the contact with his, but it was no use. They were not yet to the tree line that would take them through the wooded parts of their path and she could still hear their classmates not too far off behind them. _I could always take a note from Tillie’s book and pretend to fall_, Anne thought to herself, unfortunately causing her to choke back an audible laugh.__  


“And what, may I ask is so funny?” Gilbert inquired. Now that he’d acknowledged her laughter, there was no point in trying to be subtle and Anne let out a proper laugh that quickly turned into a small fit of giggling. Gilbert walked along with her, still watching Anne with a bemused face. They were finally entering the forest edge, and Gilbert still watched her waiting for an answer when in his distraction he lost his footing, tripping over a fallen tree limb.  


Anne quickly reached out to grab his arm and prevent him from falling to the ground. They both paused for a moment after he righted himself. Anne still held Gilbert's arm and both found they could not look away from the other's eyes. And that’s when it occurred to her that what had just happened was the authentic version of what Tillie pretended to do on their recent field trip, and she was in an absolute fit of laughter now. Gilbert tried and failed, to not be embarrassed by her laughter. He tried even harder and still failed, to not let his emotions show on his face.  


Looking up through her watering eyes, she saw the devastated expression on his face and immediately tried to rectify the misunderstanding. “No - no, Gil-” she choked while trying to contain herself. “Gilbert, I promise I’m not laughing at you!” He gave her a disbelieving glance.  


“Well, I am laughing because of you, but honestly not at you!” Finally, in control of herself, Anne resumed her walking, Gilbert quickly falling into step by her side, and she continued to explain. “Back when you heard me laughing to myself, it was because- it- well I don’t know if you, or really boys in general notice such things. Although it’d be pretty hard not to see, but then again one must only think of dear Matthew an-” “Anne.” Gilbert interjected to cut short the stream of consciousness that was beginning to flow forth from her mouth. “What is it that made you laugh, that I, or perhaps all of male kind, would fail to have seen?”  


“Right!” she gave him an apologetic smile and tried to find her words and focus once more. “Well, the ‘Take-Notice’ board has been causing quite a continual stir, especially for the girls. And, well, Tillie’s mother was giving her tips about ways to know the rules so that you can break them without breaching propriety, which sounds totally ridiculous to me.” Gilbert’s eyebrows raised at this comment remembering the words of Winnie at their first date, but he thought it best not to speak of that at this particular moment. Luckily, Anne perceived his expression to be one of surprised agreement, “I know! What is propriety anyway, except a bunch of rules that people made up? But, I digress, the point of it all is that Tillie was trying out some of her mother’s tips on our field trip the other day and all us girls had an eye on the attempts and I can’t believe it but some of them positively worked!”  


“That doesn’t surprise me in the least, boys are fairly uncomplicated creatures most of the time,” Gilbert said with a chuckle. Anne looked at him both amused and astonished.  


“Well, I hope you know that you must exclude yourself from that assertion,” she said. “Because I have never met a more complicated and confusing person than you Gilbert Blythe.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Anne realized what she had said and began to redden and turned her face away, but Gilbert laughed along. “Believe me, the same could be said for you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert,” she dared to turn her head back around to him and was rewarded with a positively fond, endearing, and (dare she even think it?) romantical expression on his face.  


“Well the trick that worked- on both Paul’s I might add- was pretending to fall so that the boy next to you has a reason to take your arm or catch your hand, or, should you be so unlucky as to actually fall to the ground-” at this Anne dramatically threw herself onto the damp forest floor. “You might fake a hurt ankle,” she sat up to grab hers in ridiculous theatrics “Oh, ouch! I think it’s badly hurt!” If Gilbert hadn’t already been grinning like a fool for the majority of their walk, he certainly would be now. “And then, because you are _soo_ injured-” she gestured to him so that he might answer what was now the punch line to this very dramatic joke.  
__

_ __ _

“Oh, Anne!” Gilbert pretended to rush to her aid, “you must be terribly hurt! I must carry you home!” He crouched down taking hold of her hands and they both laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.  


“See, you get it,” Anne said with a bright smile. Then Gilbert stood, helping her up for real. “Thank you, kind sir, for your assistance,” she said with a silly little curtsey.  


“Well, you could have died!” Gilbert responded in jest, as they both began to walk again. They were somewhat near the division of their paths now, and both of them felt anxious over the impending separation. _What if today is just a beautiful accident? Magic in a bottle, cast on only this day that has made us the best chums we’ve ever been. Maybe even more?_ Anne's thoughts whirled as they walked on quietly. __  


“Oh!” Gilbert suddenly exclaimed as the reach the crossroads of their parting ways, “That’s why you couldn’t stop laughing! You were pondering Tillie’s trick of pretending to fall and then the situation truly came upon us when I tripped.”  


“Wow, you are quite the genius Blythe,” she teased his excitement over the fairly obvious revelation. There was nowhere left for them to walk without one of them fully and properly deviating from their natural path. Neither felt quite ready to make that potentially irreversible change yet.  


Gilbert’s face suddenly grew somber and his eyes became misty. He swallowed thickly and Anne felt her stomach rising into her chest. “Thank you, Anne,” he finally said. “I realized just now, thinking about my proximity to home, that today, this walk, has been the most I’ve smiled, the hardest I’ve laughed, the lightest I’ve felt since- well, you know since when.”  


Anne gave him a heartfelt and gentle smile, “It’s good to see you laugh again, GIlbert.” She let her hand rise up to lay on his arm, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world to both of them. “Mary always loved to laugh. She loved her family’s laughs especially.” Anne said in a tone so reverent and hushed it was nearly a whisper. They held each other’s gaze for a moment, and then, as if they’d planned it, both of them looked up towards the tree-tops just in time to catch a glimpse of a happy little songbird fluttering overhead and pausing in a moment of serenity before flitting away.  


After a pause, Gilbert let out a soft laugh and said, “And she would have loved that story too!” When Anne lowered her gaze he was watching her with that same heavy and heartful look that she’d been catching in his eyes all day. She smiled and took a small step back. Her hand slipped down his arm to catch in his grasp for just a moment, their fingers twined together, and they both looked down smiling at the vibrant sensation of connection. “See you tomorrow Gilbert,” she said looking him in the eyes one last time. “See you tomorrow Anne,” he echoed, and they let go each heading their separate ways. Excited, hopeful, scared, and contemplating the meaning of the word love. 

_ _ _ _ _ _Then, stepping onto his front porch Gilbert was struck dumb with a thought that nearly had him turning around to race for Green Gables so that he could hear her answer: Why had Anne been thinking of ways for a girl to accidentally touch a boy she was walking with in the first place? After the initial shock of his thought, and truly contemplating chasing her down, Gilbert caught a moment of peace and calm inside of him that he could not explain. It was almost as if Mary and his Mother were both beside him whispering with soft smiles, _‘don’t be daft son, you already know the answer’.____ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Did I mean to spend this much time talking about Tillie's pretend fall? No. But here we are??
> 
> The moment with the bird flying overhead is a self-indulgent nod to my own Grandmother who died this past April. She always collected Cardinal related stuff - stained glass pieces, ornaments, artwork, puzzles, figurines, literally anything you can think of - so now every time someone in my family sees or has a moment with a cardinal we like to believe it's Grandma's spirit taking care of and watching over us. It honestly happens way more often than you might think. And with all of the nature and spring imagery surrounding Mary's death, it felt appropriate that she might share that too.


End file.
